Being Understood:
Resolving internal conflicts continues to serve as a significant barrier to my personal growth and development. The thoughts that seemingly cycle endlessly due to these unresolved conflicts create ongoing challenges to gaining a deeper understanding of myself, therefore hindering my access to becoming my ideal self. In Carl Rogers' (1995) influential framework, several barriers can impede personal growth and obstruct the process of becoming a fully functioning person, which is essential for overall well-being. These barriers generally arise from a combination of internal conflicts and unresolved psychological issues that can significantly stifle self-actualization and hinder meaningful personal development.
One of the primary obstacles to personal growth identified by Rogers (1995) is the presence of incongruence. Incongruence occurs when there is a significant mismatch between an individual's self-concept—essentially how they see and perceive themselves—and their actual experiences in the world. This notable mismatch can create profound inner turmoil and anxiety, as individuals struggle to reconcile the discrepancies between their perceived self and their lived experiences, ultimately impacting their personal growth trajectory.
Defense mechanisms can also play a significant role in hindering personal growth in various and profound ways. These are psychological strategies that individuals unconsciously employ to protect themselves from feelings of anxiety and to maintain a stable self-concept amid emotional turmoil. I have observed that, for me, these mechanisms can offer a sense of temporary relief from discomfort, yet they often prevent me from effectively confronting the underlying issues that genuinely need to be addressed for substantial and meaningful growth. I struggle with the tendency to take the things that I am anxious about and, unfortunately, project those feelings onto other people, which complicates my interactions. Moreover, when my deepest vulnerabilities and hurts are activated, I tend to completely shut down emotionally and mentally.
This is a significant growth edge for me, one that I am actively working to navigate. Going through this reflective process has forced me to acknowledge and fess up to the unresolved hurts that still exist within me. Instead of attempting to shut them out entirely, I have learned to embrace these feelings as valuable catalysts for change and transformation, which they can ultimately become.
Another significant barrier that I have encountered is the fear of change. Personal growth inherently involves navigating various types of change, which can often feel intimidating and overwhelming. Change requires moving out of one's comfortable and familiar surroundings and confronting the uncertainties of the unknown, which can naturally trigger feelings of fear and resistance. I often find myself clinging tightly to familiar patterns and behaviors, even when they are obviously detrimental to my well-being, simply because they provide a comforting sense of security. I am currently in the process of identifying specific areas in my life that have become a crutch; for instance, I have been shutting people out and treating my body poorly by neglecting both its nourishment and necessary movement. These are just a few of the identified barriers that I am consciously working through. I recognize that I do not want to continue allowing fear to accompany me as a hindrance to my personal growth and progress. Letting go of this fear will require adopting better tools and strategies designed for effective personal growth. I know that channeling my inner strength, along with the support of others around me, is essential as I take the steps necessary to move forward on my journey.
References
Rogers, Carl R. 1995. On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Cash Cow, Original collage by Carrie Occhino